Questions. So many questions.

This is one of those subjects that definitely calls for live discussion! Pamper definition included words "extreme" and "excessive". What a can of worms. I can imagine that Rosie asked this because she doesn't see where you pamper yourself (and according to what standard?) and judging by your post, you don't much. So the question is, "Should you?" Like I said, a can of worms.

Take the verse, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Or any of a number that allude to the fact that He has given us much to enjoy. He does mean for us to enjoy and does not call us to asceticism. The question that forms in my mind is "When does pamper cross the line to self- indulgence, and is self-indulgence always wrong?" Can of worms.

But He is the worm-master. If this has stirred up your heart so much, it is certainly something He wants to relieve you of and perhaps educate you about. So I return to my old standby, "Lord, what do You have to say to me about this?"

But it would certainly be a great question to throw out there IF we ever get together, but I would want to limit the discussion to 20 or 30 minutes. We have so much to talk about!!

To answer your questions about my health - it's an ugly mess because of my reaction to it. The acupuncture has not done a thing yet, though he assures me it will. I have been 4 times, have 8 visits on the referral and will do them and then re-evaluate. He told me not to expect anything until at least 4 or 5 so we are at D-day this week.

My attitude has been MUST FIND RELIEF- CAN"T LIVE LIKE THIS. Pain has steadily increased and is accompanied by much stiffness. I don't want to accept a new normal. I find it difficult to do all the active things I like while in pain. I want to eat ibuprofen or anything that will take the edge off. I do take lots of natural anti-inflammatories and they DO help, but I want more. I want relief. This attitude has set me at odds with God. Basically, I am saying, "You are not enough, Your grace is not sufficient."

Yesterday I played tennis with Rick. Have been doing so with Molly but she is at camp. By the end of one set (45 to 70 minutes, depending) all the compression and jarring has me in extreme pain. I cannot go on, though they would like to keep playing. That is discouraging, but leaves me with a choice: give it up or play through as much as I can without doing damage. In fact, I have made the choice to pursue activities that increase the pain, and the real choice is will I get mad about it or accept it?

Rick and I watched a movie that turned out to be French with subtitles (see Rick rolling eyes at me when we realized this) that convicted me. The main character was a man our age who had a stroke and was completely paralyzed and had no speech. They even had to sew one eye shut and so his visage was rather grotesque. He had a compassionate and devoted therapist that devised a system whereby she said the alphabet and he blinked when she came to the right letter so he could spell out words. Rather exhausting process. And I am complaining about pain. Fairly minor pain, when compared to what is out there.

So I am in the process of acceptance. I hope to work through to acceptance with joy. I am angry and sad and questioning and rebelling and falling down and into His grace. I am loving that quote from The Shack - "There is more grace than you can imagine."

Not sleeping worth a ding dang. Trying to cut back on the ibuprofen and valerian. Enjoying my yard and my walking and working out. Enjoying my kids and husband some, but LOTS of stress going around those arenas these days and would love to run away. Got a new car. Same as my old one but white and with 100,000 LESS miles. I'll take you for a ride. It's cush. My folks are coming for family dinner this week. I went over for a night last week. My sis is in major crisis, so much so that I wonder how far she is from going over the edge. Praying about going to help. Missing my time walking with Tina, but have accepted that and adjusted. Hardly ever skip it, though I was very worried that I would. Got a new haircut. Short wedge. I love it. My neighbor says it takes 10 years off my age. Kelsey says it makes me look not a day over 70. Sweet. Going to become power of attorney for CooCum. Take her to all her doc appts. and she wants me to take over her finances from Earl. Bad blood there. Rick is grateful.

Tina, get yourself home soon, we need a massage!!

I miss you guys. I am so glad for this blog. See you soon??

Cheryl